How Much My Friend Anna Is Loved

I am sorry that I have not posted anything yet. I am sure there are perhaps some readers who are wondering why I have not posted anything in some time. Well, its certainly a legitimate question. I still have many correspondence to publish as well as an annotated chronology. I guess the answer is that I have been so tired. Everytime I think about posting I just get so tired. This whole thing has haunted me now for years. I worry about Anna as well as the victims surviving family members. There is something I wanted to notate. I think if you look back in the posts you should see the third  email I sent Anna. This was sent before I really had the chance to get to know her and was as much a result of what I did not know about her at that time. I remember when I wrote the email I was angry with her. I beleived what I had read regarding what happened at the hospital because there was basically to much detailed information for the incident not to have occured. But it is easy to be angry at someone you do not know. As time went by and we had more conversations I found myself becoming less and less angry at Anna. I eventually came to know Anna as a very kind and gentle person and that of course makes what happened even more terrible to comprehend. There is not a day that goes by that I do not somehow remember what happened at the hospital that terrible morning. I guess what I would like readers to know is that the person I came to understand is a very kind and gentle person and that the contemplated deaths of the patients on the seventh floor was not so much an act of crime but rather an act of "love." And that is of course what makes the whole thing so much more difficult to reconsile. Since when did the killing of human beings been considered an act of "love" rather than an act of "murder." Know I understand that there are many who will argue that the patients where all terminally ill and about to die anyway. I wish I could say that they are correct but the truth of the matter is that most of the patients where in no way determined to be terminally ill and near death. But that is not what i struggle with. I cannot come to terms with the reality for Anna was that killing the patients was in fact an act of "love." You know Anna has never apologised for what happened at the hospital. And you want to know why. Because in her mind she did absolutely nothing wrong, that the killing of all the patients on the seventh floor was not an act of murder but was in her mind an act of love. If that is indeed the case then she would argue that there was nothing to apologies for. And yet since then she has sought redemption in working in a hospital in Baton Rouge working with the most difficult cases of cancer. Have you ever wondered why she no longer works at the renamed Memorial Hospital and why she does not work at Charity Hospital or for Oshner. I used to tell her all the time that in my Fathers Kingdom there was no such thing as Judgement nor Condemnation, that there was only Love. I guess that in the "long" run I came to love my friend and that is what makes all of this so difficult.....I wonder if Anna knows that she cannot work toward Redemption, that in reality it is a "gift" already given. I used to tell her how much the father loves her. In my heart of hearts I hope Anna has come to know just how mucg the Teacher loves her. I hope she knows. I really do....